29toLIFE

I’m never the person to spend my money because of some inane advertising campaign. Cavemen don’t convince me to buy insurance and that dude on the horse will never get me to wear Old Spice. I just don’t waste money on things I don’t need.

And if there’s one thing I don’t buy, under any circumstance, it’s gum. I’m usually the guy who asks other people if they have gum, just so I don’t have to spend my own money on it.

Today, though, the advertisement agency won. Do you see that picture up there? What flavor is that? I don’t know. It’s a Mega Mystery™! I MUST ADD THAT TO MY LIST OF GROCERIES SO THAT I MAY FIND OUT!!!

For the record, I still have no idea what flavor this is. Or, for that matter, what I was expecting to find when I put the first piece in my mouth. THIS IS IT! WILL IT BE WATERMELON? BOLOGNA?? COD???

I think it might be some hybrid form of fruit punch, but I can’t be sure. It sort of tastes like gummy worms. Whatever it is, it still doesn’t take change the fact that I’m an idiot for buying it.