29toLIFE

Growing up, I was a huge sports dork. So much so, that I couldnt get enough of it on my TV, radio or computer, no matter how awful it may have been. I was fascinated by it all. TMQ? Read it religiously. NFL pregame shows? Appointment television. If I stayed home from school, I watched SportsCenter from the moment I woke up until at least noon. Even though it was the same damn episode every hour.

These days, I’m more discerning with my sports intake. The mindless bickering between Mike & Mike, the stories that aren’t actually stories, the incessant need to overanalyze even the most insignificant detail of a football game; they’ve all become noise to me. Unbearable noise.

I prefer a more intelligent sports analysis now. Something more thought-provoking than Jon Gruden sternly telling me that that football player IS A FOOTBALL PLAYER. I hate that stuff. Like, Brussels sprouts hate. Loathe it.

And I cant even begin to tell you how much that scares me. Because I know that my kid is going to love it. And I’m not allowed to hate him.

He’s going to believe in coaching and intangibles and bulletin board material. He’s going to be enamored with the scrappy white guy. He’s going to love hearing Gruden refer to players as “THIS GUY” the same way I loved hearing John Madden yell “BOOM!” Because my kid will be just like me. And I’m going to have to sit there and pretend to be proud of him.

Which won’t be easy. Because I probably won’t be.